Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Job Interview Tomorrow

The title says it all. I am, of course, feeling apprehensive. I'm not good with oral tests, and that's what an interview is. Give me a half hour with a pen and paper and I will answer all your questions, but orally? I don't do the best.

My body tries to shut down on me when I am anxious. I feel tired, bored, jittery. I just want to sleep. But I have slept months away before and am now aware that is *not* the way to go about life. Because when life ends, do you want to think "Sleeping was great!"? No. B/c "sleep" is all you do from then on. In a way. (Not sure what I believe on the after-life yet...)

The Feliway that I ordered online came yesterday. I sprayed it liberally on my bed and blankets. I debated between the spray and the diffuser. The spray is cheaper, but the diffuser spreads it about more effectively. Which lasts longer? The diffuser is supposed to last a month. I should buy a black light. B/c if Mellie is peeing anywhere else, I think I might go ahead and buy a diffuser. But right now, it's just the bed, so maybe the spray will help.

I'm just confused. I know that Feliway is supposed to help with anxiety, which makes sense, but I'm not sure if it will help in my case. B/c Domino ambushing Melian in the litterbox is probably not due to stress, but b/c he doesn't have enough room to play/doesn't have someone to play with. He wants to play with Mellie, but she stopped adoring him for some reason. (Probably b/c we're all cooped up in here. Who wouldn't get irritated with someone you're imprisoned with for a year?) So the spray may help Mellie from being anxious, but I don't think it will help Noms from trying to play with her. Unless he's doing it to be rude??? Or unless I'm totally off the mark here, and she's peeing/pooping on my bed for some other reason. Who knows. It may or may not help. We'll just have to see.

I can only interpret so much. Too bad they can't just tell me what's going on...

Speaking of limited space, Michele, a vet tech from work (but who works elsewhere now) asked me if I would move in with her. She's definitely desperate, because she has three cats and a dog - and the thought of trying to get six cats to get along isn't pleasant... She rents a condo through T's mom, her roommate kind of disappeared, stopped paying rent, etc. She's been trying to find a roommate, was thinking of buying a house, but things aren't working out. I don't think *we'd* have problems living together, as we keep to ourselves, mostly, but the pets might be an issue. My cats would be scared of her dog, our cats might not get along, somebody would probably start peeing, and who wants to clean up cat pee??? Not I.

But, I can only move out if I get another job. We'll see how this interview goes. Even if I do get a job, though, it doesn't mean I'll be able to move out right away. And how will K feel? I don't even know if she still wants to move up here...

One thing I'm all proud of myself for is remembering that even if the interview goes badly, that if I fumble for words and don't know how to answer their questions, it's not the end of the world. It sounds so cliche, but even if things don't go the way I want, maybe it's better that way. Things will be the same, and yes, we want change, but the *same* is not me dying, being tortured, living on the streets, starving, etc. It's just me trying to move along in life, seemingly a little slower than others. But that's me. I can't be anyone else, you know? Even if I try. I have to deal with the only me that I know. And sometimes, that's okay. = )

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